


Not Like This

by MissMouse1421



Category: The 100
Genre: 6x05 wish fic, Angst, Bellamy Blake-centric, But his heart is telling him one thing and his head is telling him another, Canon Compliant, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Feelings, Kissing, Oh the drama, Our boy is obviously in love with Clarke, Suspicious Bellamy, josephine!clarke - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-26 11:54:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19005280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMouse1421/pseuds/MissMouse1421
Summary: It wasn't supposed to happen this way.





	Not Like This

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is a 6x05 wish fic because I'm obviously bellarke trash and this Josephine!Clarke storyline could lead to some very interesting revelations. Fingers crossed!
> 
> Please enjoy :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own The 100, of course.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. If it was meant to happen at all.

Bellamy had caught himself fantasizing about kissing Clarke more times then he'd care to admit. He wasn't entirely sure when his feelings for Clarke blossomed into something more. Something terrifying and all-consuming. There was a time Bellamy truly thought he couldn't live without her. Until he had to. He was forced into it on the Ark, and incredibly he survived—thrived, even. He had to learn to stand on his own two feet. Lead with his heart and his head. He was better off for it. But in a miraculous twist of fate, Clarke had come back to him. Or rather, Bellamy came back to her, and his entire world was flipped on its axis.

Now Clarke was kissing him. Soft and sweet and not at all what he had imagined it would be like. Bellamy always thought kissing Clarke would feel like playing with fire. Hot, wild, exhilarating and dangerous all at once. But instead it was delicate, each brush of her lips against his own felt purposeful. Almost manipulative. And it was another one of those moments that was going to keep Bellamy up at night, wondering what could have been. What he should have done differently.

This wasn't right. Bellamy wasn't supposed to have a girlfriend during their first kiss. He wasn't supposed to be cheating on said girlfriend by not pushing her away. Clarke wasn't supposed to saunter over to him during a conversation about the potential threat of Sanctum and silence him with her lips. Bellamy was growing increasingly suspicious of their new so-called allies, especially after talking with Jordan.

No. Clarke Griffin would never put off a conversation about how to keep their people safe by doing something like _this_. It didn't make sense.

Bellamy knew those six years on Earth had changed Clarke. More so than he probably initially thought. But every now and then he would catch glimpses of the old Clarke. _His_ Clarke. The Clarke that made him feel protected yet vulnerable at the same time. The Clarke he would have burned down the world for if it meant keeping her safe. The Clarke who never let him feel alone. She was still in there somewhere. This Bellamy was sure of, but it was different now. Clarke wasn't the only one who had changed.

Bellamy didn't think his feelings towards Clarke would leave him no matter how many years of separation passed. It was as much a comfort as it was a curse. But now he had responsibilities outside of Clarke. He made promises and commitments to those he cared most for, and he vowed to keep them long before the ghost of his past came back from the dead to remind him of the girl he once loved and the bond they shared together. It wasn't fair of him to regret the choices that brought him to this moment. A moment where Clarke wanted him, maybe for the first time, but Bellamy couldn't have her.

He didn't _want_ her. Not like this. Never like this. The guilt and the shock and the confusion left him frozen in place.

When Clarke pulled away, she didn't act like it was a big deal. She continued on the conversation as if she hadn't just rocked Bellamy's entire world yet again, going on about how they would be safe here. How it wasn't their place to question the culture and rituals of the people of Sanctum. How lucky they were Russell took pity on them and allowed them to stay. She basically told him to mind his own business. Be seen and not heard. It was this cavalier approach to possible danger that disturbed Bellamy the most. Clarke would never dismiss him like this. She would never take that kind of risk, especially with Madi.

Something was off about her today. And the more Bellamy thought about it the more he convinced himself that something was seriously wrong here. Maybe Clarke _would_ be bold enough to kiss him. Hell, maybe she's wanted to for a long time, but she would never make a move on him knowing he was with someone else. Clarke would never disrespect him or his relationship like that. No matter how rocky their friendship got, the one thing Bellamy could count on without fail was their mutual respect for each other. Not just as leaders, but as people who wanted what was best for the other. 

This behaviour, these mannerisms, they didn't fit the person Bellamy had come to know and trust. He felt like he was looking at a stranger. The kind of stranger who thought she could beguile or threaten those around her to get what she wanted. Everything about this encounter felt disingenuous from beginning to end. There was deception at play. Something insidious afoot. Bellamy was certain of it.

Something was truly and dreadfully wrong with Clarke Griffin.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! As always comments and kudos are greatly appreciated.


End file.
